Wednesday, January 03, 2007

About a Boy's Christmas

So, I got books and books and more books for Christmas and ALL of them telling me how to behave like a boy. I got , 'The Dangerous Book for Boys', 'The Boys' Book - How to be the Best at Everything', and 'Girls Are Rubbish' or something. These are the essential boy rules:

1. You must be interested in facts.
2. You must like making stuff.
3. You must like getting wet , dirty or both.
4. You must enjoy injuring yourself.

Otherwise you are a girl. And that is a bit boring to be frank.
So now I know how to shave, how to warm my feet up using cayenne pepper and socks and how to survive a volcanic eruption (basically run for the hills) amongst other useful things.
None of my books make any mention of MP3 players or portable playstations or IPODS which is what Dexter got for Christmas. And surprisingly there is no mention of stick insects either which is a pity because Miranda is bringing Stinky's babies round in an old ice-cream tub soon. This is top secret information by the way, so no blabbing.
The nearest I got to a bit of technology was a CD of 'Just William'. The Parents bought it for me so we could play it in the car on the way to visit my Disturbed Aunt Harry. More of her later, I am afraid. Anyway, 'Just William' had The Parents laughing greatly. The best story was the one when Ginger's Uncle Cedric came to stay for Christmas and would insist on a boy behaving in a 'manly fashion'.
This seems to be what all the boy books are about anyway, 'Just William' is just funnier.

19 comments:

Susan Abraham said...

Hi Wilf,
Happy New Year & all! You've been missing for a long while. Have you been busy reading?
And a Just Williamon CD for Christmas? How cool is that. I read up on his adventures when I was little so girls can't be THAT boring after all. And stick insects at Christmastime? Whatever are you thinking, Wilf. tee-hee!

Atyllah said...

Hmmm... (a chicken ponders...) I can't help wondering, young Wilf, that a boy's life might not be a little boring. Surely there's more to being a boy than just facts, making stuff, getting wet and dirty and injuring yourself? It all sounds a bit limited. Besides, I have to ask, what is it with these gender roles - boy's do this and girls do that. Why can't everyone just not do everything and anything they want?
Humans! Very confusing!

Wilf said...

Girls are OK, just different. They do not seem to like the same things I like, except for stick insects of course. But then, Miranda is not so much a girl, more of a sort of friend - but no kissing, Susan!

Wilf said...

Being a manly boy is definitely something to be avoided because it involves being noble all the time and being kind to people titchier than yourself and not beating up your friends or being rude to your parents or basically doing any of the things I do.
Being a boy is different to being a girl although Mum says this book business is a bit retro. I think there are girls and there are boys and as long as we can like the same stuff we can be friends no matter what.

Khylan Seriphyn said...

Happy New Year Wilf,

Hey it could be worse, you could've got books on how to be a girl. Wouldn't that have been embarrasing.

Susan Abraham said...

Can't I now, Wilf?
Just a teeny-weeny one...
Oh, shucks!

Wilf said...

Yes, Khylan, it would.

Wilf said...

A very small kiss, Susan and not in front of Dexter.

Atyllah said...

I'm with your mum on this, Wilf, those books definitely sound way too retro! But then I always thought your mum was very sensible. Do send her my very best wishes.

Susan Abraham said...

ok Wilfy,

MWWWWWAAAAAAAH!

Dexter said...

Urgh,

Susan kissed Wilf!!! That's so gross.

I'm telling everyone at school tomorrow.

Dexter.

Wilf said...

Yeah? Well I might just have to tell everyone about how you BURNT YOUR HOUSE DOWN, bit more embarrassing than a virtual kiss, I think.

See, Susan, see what happens!!

Susan Abraham said...

Oh...Oh...

Jude said...

Hey Wilf, not falling into any stereotypes I see. Good man. Enjoy the fiction- why not?

Susan Abraham said...

Wilf...
Promise me,no fireworks now!

Saaleha said...

Love the new look Wilf. I think an iPod or playstation would not have been out of place. I mean, really, we need to do something other than read from time to time. I definitely do. Perhaps your books told you stuff about climbling trees, camping and stuff, because that's great fun and a nice diversion when the books just aren't delivering.

Wilf said...

Yes, saleeha - there's an especially good section on building a tree house and I'm sure there is a suitable tree in our garden-jungle somewhere. It occurs to me I could also rig up a flying fox from the treehouse to the back door- cool.

Anita Marion Loughrey said...

I quite like being a girl.

I was talking to my son about this the other day.

He was fussing over a scab and I told him to just stop thinking about it. so he started telling me all the things he was thinking of from a sharks attack, birds flying over and all pooing at the same time, to shooting a dinosaur with his lasar gun. All this in a matter of five minutes and then back to the scab.

I told him that boys think about the weirdiest things and he said it was better than girls. All they think about is shopping and hairstyles.

Well, I quite like thinking about shopping and hairstyles and I can do it for longer than a minute at a time.

Wilf said...

Your son should talk to Miranda - all she talks about are insects although she also wears a crazy amount of pink. He sounds quite normal and a minute is a reasonable amount of time to give to any topic. Spending more than a minute on hairstyles and shopping -aagh, madness.