The Bit with the Astronaut who is not Buzz Aldrin

Ok, so I am going to stay with Dexter for a week. I still have to go to school but I will be too busy with Dexter and all his toys to post anything until 25th September. So I will just tell you the last bit of the school trip story...the bit with the astronaut who is not Buzz Aldrin.


It is quiet, like everyone is holding their breath and they have stopped looking at the rocket and are now staring at Mrs Trundle. You could cook raw meat on Mrs Trundle's face. I mean she is RED and her mouth is a straight line and her good eye is bulging. She is nearly running across the hall, closely followed by Mr Chuckle and the cleaner. The cleaner is odd and she is now dressed in some sort of white boiler suit but I have no time to think abput this before Mrs Trundle is on me. Oh flip.
'YOU!!' she says.
I nod. 'Wilf,' I prompt.
'I KNOW YOUR NAME!'
Oops. Mr Chuckle is pointing upwards and the cleaner is grinning. I am glad she is happy.
'Perhaps it would be better if we moved...Mrs er, Trundle?'
She continues to explode. 'WHEN WE GET HOME YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE...'
'Mrs Trundle...'
'SERIOUS TROUBLE...'
It is at that moment, the rocket comes back to earth, or rather to Mrs Trundle's head. The bottle bounces briefly on her hairdo and water trickles down her face.
The silence in the hall is horrible. I hear Mr Chuckle gulp. This is it, I think. I am going to die. Dexter knows it too. For once he sticks by me but the rest move away, waiting for the killer blow.
'Brilliant!!' says the cleaner, clapping her hands and laughing. She hands Mrs Trundle a hanky.
'You think so?' asks Mrs Trundle weakly as she daubs at her face.
'A clear winner!' she says.
I take a good look at the cleaner. She is someone I have seen before, on the TV, in the papers...and I realise - she is not wearing a boiler suit, it is a spacesuit!
'Well Helen, ' says Mr Chuckle, 'I think you're right. Would you like to do the honours?'
'Gather round, Wilf and his crew, come on!'
So Miranda, the Bug Club and Dexter and me shuffle together in front of Helen Sharman, the actual British astronaut and I can hardly take it in because I thought she was the cleaner. I blush.
'This prize goes to Wilf and his team, for great inventiveness under difficult conditions!'
She hands me a replica of the Apollo 10 command module. And then all of us grab an edge and hold it up for everyone to see.
'See you in space, Wilf,' says Helen and she winks at me.
And the hall erupts with noise.