Monday, September 04, 2006

Bug Killer

Who can honestly love a fly?
Mum gets very upset if I kill bugs. She does not like to hurt any living thing, even flies. I am not mad, I do not sit and take wings and legs off like Sad Joshua Johnston but I will squash them if they bother me. Dad once bought a can of fly spray and Mum turned purple because not only was he destroying lives but he was also destroying the ozone layer.

'KILLER!!' yells someone and I have a fair idea of who is doing the yelling because she is scraping at my head with the plastic lid from the bug-prison box. 'You've let them all go, they won't survive here - you stupid, stupid bug KILLER!'
'Get off me!' I am not sure who I am shouting at, the bugs or Miranda. I do know it is very uncomfortable in the t-shirt area.
'Stop scratching, you'll squash them!' And she starts lifting my t-shirt. Everyone says, 'ooh!'.
Enough is enough.
I push her away and she falls back onto the ground. I notice Dexter has retreated to a safe distance and is busy doing nothing with his clipboard. The crowd steps back. Mrs Trundle steps forward. I swear the veins in her good eye are bulging.
'I do NOT believe this! You again! Can't I trust you for ONE SINGLE MOMENT?' and she definitely says that last bit in capitals. 'Did you bring these insects?'
I scratch at my arm. I look at Miranda. I am going to dob her in now and it feels sweet.
'I've squashed my centipede,' says Miranda and she is actually crying as she scrapes the insect remains off her skirt. 'He was my favourite.'
Or maybe it does not feel so sweet. I think about what Buzz would do in this situation. The crowd is holding its breath and I say.
'I brought them in, Mrs Trundle. I did not want them to be lonely without me.'
I am not even sure why I said this but there is a gasp from everyone and I suddenly feel very tall.
'Well now it is you who will be lonely, Wilfred. You are to go to Mr Chuckle's office and wait there until we go home.'
I stand. Miranda's mouth droops open. Dexter salutes me and I feel the eyes of the class on me as I march off with an unsmiling Mr Chuckle.


Atyllah said...

A hero in the face of the Trundle! What a boy, Wilf, what a boy!
Personally, I would have dobbed Miranda in. You are so definitely up for the trip back to Novapulse for the Social Reconditioning Experiment. And I know Aunt Aggie will be hugely proud of you.
As to the flies, Granny would just have eaten them - but then she thinks bugs make a great snack.

Susan Abraham said...

Hi Wilf,

Your adventures are thrilling every single post.
You're a real hero, you are.
Perhaps Mr.Chuckle will chuckle his way out of this one.
And not bite his knuckles,looking cross-eyed and annoyed.
And perhaps, Miranda will kiss you as a reward.
Good luck!

I also think I recognise the mum in question.

Saaleha said...

Aww, poor Wilf. Hope Mr Chuckle starts Chuckling again. And don't feel bad, I don't like flies either. Especially when I'm cooking.

Wilf said...

I feel like I have taken one small step for Wilf and one huge leap for boykind.
REALLY looking forward to going to Novapulse; not the Christmas holidays though, they are too short.

Wilf said...

Ew! Susan. A kiss! I cannot think of much worse! Except for two kisses.

Wilf said...

Actually, I think wasps might be more annoying than flies; they do seem to bother me the moment I start eating ANYTHING.