Monday, December 11, 2006

Some of my Best Friends are Aliens

North Wenshire County Times
11th December 2006
'Some of my Best Friends are Aliens' claims, Jack Marshall.

The Sun
12th December 2006
'Purple Aliens Ate My Mobile' says Dave Dooney

The Times
13th December 2006
Close Encounters with Alien Rivals - Is this War?

It is not exactly comfortable in Grandpa Jack's tent but it is quite exciting. The Parents have actually let me stay with him for a whole night so that I can experience the great outdoors. I have my favourite stars and planets duvet and Grandpa has a old hairy blanket from his army days. The tent flaps are open to let out the stinky pipe smell and I have my special 360 degree beam torch with us.
'When I worked for the special ops, Wilfred,' says Grandpa Jack, 'I was privy to a great deal of secret information about aliens.' I shuffle as close as I dare to the pipe. Outside it is black as black and a breeze is making the tent flip and flap. 'You must understand that young Dexter does not know what he is dealing with...' he snorts. 'Purple blobs! Kidnap! My aliens are just like you or me or your father or...' he seems stuck.
'...or Mr Bagnall, or Mrs Trundle?'
'Yes, yes, until they turn green and push out those extra arms and start that unfortunate brain sucking thing...'
Definitely, Mrs Trundle, I think.
'Young Dexter is INVITING trouble but I think I can talk to them...persuade them that he means no harm...' He puffs furiously and scratches his stringy hair. 'Should give 'em a's Christmas after all...'
I blink and realise that Grandpa Jack actually means what he is saying. I wonder how to ask him. 'Are you a bit mad, Grandpa Jack? Or do you really know some aliens?'
He looks at me all poppy eyed. 'Who do you think made this crop circle, Wilfred?'
'Not the farmer, then?'
'I knew they'd come back one day,' he says and now I don't know who he is talking to.
He shuffles forwards and sticks his head out into the night. The wind blows his hat off but he just shakes his fist at it.
'That's right! Take my hat! Call it a token of trust, my friends!'
'Um, Grandpa? There is no-one there.' He takes no notice, just keeps shouting.
'Yes, that's right - put my pipe out! Why don't you come and talk to me?'
'Um Grandpa?'
A blinkingly white light appears outside the tent. Grandpa Jack shields his eyes with his hand. 'That's it!' he cries, 'take me, not the boy!' I watch him struggle out of the tent, stand up, arms held high. The light burns his outline onto the tent wall. I shrink into my duvet. Unlike Dexter I do not fancy being captured and tortured by aliens. A grey furry hand extends into the tent. I squeak. I wait for the brain sucking to begin.This is it.
'Hello, BBC Look Northwards, you must be Wilfred?'
A human hand appears from behind the furry microphone, followed by a tall man in a puffy jacket. I nod. 'Do you mind if we just wait for the aliens with you?' He pulls a face. 'Bit cold out there!' He rummages inside a rucksack. 'Your Grandpa is speaking to the aliens right now, I believe - fancy some hot chocolate?'


Susan Abraham said...

What a scenic picture you've painted, Wilf. I can easily see you out with the stars and fancy Grandpa being your best friend.

I wonder, what about the likes of galaxies, comets and wishing stars or even the Milky Way. Do you find any of these as exciting as aliens? It would be something to show off to Dexter.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, er, Wilf, I hope Grandpa Jack knows what he's doing. Just which "aliens" is he talking to? Hope it's not the Draconians or the Turkeys!

Addy, Wilf has developed so wonderfully, his character is so rounded and the writing and storyline just keep getting better and better. Time you checked out the Friday Book Project!

jason evans said...

Yeah, I remember my first camp out experiences. This really brought back memories!

Anonymous said...

Cor blimey how exciting! Just like the Blair Witch Project- now that was a spooky film. You're too young to watch it Wilf but Grandpa might tell you about it if he's into hunting things not of this world!

Wilf said...

Oh, I love the stars, Susan. We all come from stars you know and I would like to go there one day. Be great to have Dexter with me.

Wilf said...

I actually think grandpa Jack has lost it a bit but that may have something to do with the whisky I had to sneak out of the house and into the tent.

Thanks, Nicky! I will check it out tonight.

Wilf said...

The Parents are not big on camping, Jason, so it is great to go out with Grandpa. I wish he had a bigger tent though - we ended up with an entire film crew squished inside it.

Wilf said...

No, we do not have a television in our house which is A Terrible Thing. I believe I will have a tv in every room in my house when I am old just to make up for it. And I shall have a huge collection of scary films including the Blair Witch Project which sounds really good.
Everybody knows that the truth is out there, Jude. I bet I find it before, Dexter.

Saaleha said...

I love camping, though not near crop circles, because like Atyllah says, I could end up making contact with the Draconians, or the Turkeys, both of which are scary prospects, though a chicken wouldn't be an all bad thing ;-)

And the next time you go, you can use my tent. It's huge - sleeps six. though the colour might be a problem. IT's purple and lime green.

Wilf said...

Thanks for the offer, Saleeha but the colour sounds a bit girly AND alien - I prefer camouflage colour.

Scott Pack said...

Hello. Scott from The Friday Project here. Can you drop me a line sometime as my emails keep bouncing back?