By Wednesday teatime we were all still alive and not sucked into a black hole where we are crushed into nothingness or forced to play parallel universe football. It is all a bit on the disappointing side really.
In actual fact our house is a bit like being in a parallel universe right now because my baby brother, George is on the move. He is like a black hole. He sucks us all into his horrible baby world and now we cannot escape and soon he will crush us into nothingness.
First off. He goes everywhere and we all have to follow him because of the terrible, terrible danger lurking at the edge of every cupboard door, table corner and under every cushion.
Look out! Run from the fluffy cushions!Aaaaaghhh!
Second off. It is The Rule that George is not allowed to put small things into his mouth because:
a. he will swallow it, be poisoned and die
b. he will try and swallow it, choke and die
c. he will not swallow it, stick it up his nose and die.
But nobody has told George The Rule because a very bad thing happened.
Mum plopped George into my room, without asking me. I know this because when I go into my room he is there, wobbling a bit as he stands up, hanging onto the stick insect table.
'Oi!' I say, 'what you doing?'
He does not answer and my insides go into a kind of freefall and I know something bad has occurred. Crunch. The it comes to me and suddenly my room is a million miles wide as I race across to save him.
Sticky, my best stick insect is prodding out of George. His front legs are waving a bit like he is saying goodbye before he disappears into the black hole that is George's mouth.
Sticky, before the bad end.