Friday, September 12, 2008

George's Black Hole

By Wednesday teatime we were all still alive and not sucked into a black hole where we are crushed into nothingness or forced to play parallel universe football. It is all a bit on the disappointing side really.
In actual fact our house is a bit like being in a parallel universe right now because my baby brother, George is on the move. He is like a black hole. He sucks us all into his horrible baby world and now we cannot escape and soon he will crush us into nothingness.

First off
. He goes everywhere and we all have to follow him because of the terrible, terrible danger lurking at the edge of every cupboard door, table corner and under every cushion.

Look out! Run from the fluffy cushions!Aaaaaghhh!

Second off. It is The Rule that George is not allowed to put small things into his mouth because:
. he will
swallow it, be poisoned and die
b. he will try and swallow it, choke and die
. he will not swallow it, stick it up his nose and die
But nobody has told George The Rule because a very bad thing happened.

Mum plopped George into my room, without asking me. I know this because when I go into my room he is there, wobbling a bit as he stands up, hanging onto the stick insect table.
'Oi!' I say, 'what you doing?'
He does not answer and my insides go into a kind of
freefall and I know something bad has occurred. Crunch. The it comes to me and suddenly my room is a million miles wide as I race across to save him.
Too late.
Sticky, my best stick insect is prodding out of George.
His front legs are waving a bit like he is saying goodbye before he disappears into the black hole that is George's mouth.

Sticky, before the bad end.


Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Oh no! Poor Sticky! What an awful fate! I don't suppose you could chop up George into little pieces and feed in to the sticks... Muahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

Wilf said...

Yes, it was TERRIBLE and George might have eaten Woody and Brian as well but I managed to swiped him off his wobbly feet just in time.
And apparently that was worse than eating somebody's pet.

Patrick said...

I might add that, by all reports and in my one experience, members of the order Phasmatodea taste truly foul. Given how upset I'm sure it made his tummy, one might say 'twas really G who got the short end of the stick.

Wilf said...

Luckily, Patrick, I do not go near his nappy end.