(right) This is Gizmo from a film called 'Gremlins' that I am not allowed to watch. He reminds me of my friend, Dexter, especially about the ears.
(below) This is just like the gizmo, Father Christmas carried with him. How cool are those flashing lights.
'Hem hem!' coughs a quiet voice.
I jump and spin all in one go. A tall man in a metallic red jumpsuit stands next to the Christmas tree. In his hand is some sort of gizmo with flashing lights on it.
'I believe that mincepie was meant for me,' he says, sounding a bit American.
I'm not worried; he looks more like a hairy Buzz Aldrin than a burglar. I want to ask how the gizmo works but my mouth is stuck.
'In case you're wondering,' smiles the man. 'I'm Father Christmas! Santa Claus! St Nicholas! Take your pick!' His gizmo beeps and he punches a button. 'And I should have been in France nanoseconds ago.'
My mouth unglues. 'But, but you're not fat and where's your sack!?' I blurt out these crushing facts in a weird high voice.
He laughs and pats his flat stomach. 'We're all more streamlined these days, pardner!' He bends lower. 'Still got the beard though and I bet you can't pull this one off!'
'How do you know about that?' I ask.
'Didn't your parents tell you? I know everything, Wilf. Everything. I even know about Granpa Jack. Two naughty boys.'
That made me think.