Wednesday, August 02, 2006

What Kind of Alien Are You?

The Americans encounter loads and loads of aliens and get really good photos of them (see left) . In the UK we have seen a couple but maybe they are from a planet in a poor part of the galaxy and cannot afford such good spaceships. The Wilmslow spaceship (see below) was shaped like a dustbin lid and was a bit rubbish compared to the American one.
I have to talk to the only half-way friendly alien I know, Atyllah the Hen.

So we walk into the Science Museum as though we are glued together and...awe and wonder! You can almost smell the science in here. I turn to make Dexter have a sniff but he is busy pocketing the free leaflets. I look around at the others for signs of awe and wonder but they are all busy sharpening their pencils or swapping Yu-Gi-Oh cards. So, who apart from me is the only one with her mouth open, gawping? It's Miranda or maybe she's just spotted a very interesting fly on the ceiling.
First stop on our voyage through the Science Museum is, 'Alien Encounter'. Normally I would think, 'cool' but when it's written on a worksheet everybody thinks it must be rubbish. As it turns out we are wrong. In the, 'Alien Fiction' bit we see some really gruesome close ups of the actual Roswell alien autopsy. Miranda makes us look at ET.
'He's so sweet!' she says.
Then we look at alien creatures right here on earth and Dexter writes, "Miranda" on the worksheet list. But she does not take much notice as she is looking carefully at blow-up photos of evil looking bugs and saying,
'They're so sweet!'
The final part is the best. There is a quiz called, 'What Kind of Alien are You?' There are questions like -
You're thinking of visiting another planet. You choose your destination because:
a. It's a lovely colour
b. Its inhabitants are weak and poorly defended
c. Its culture, though inferior, is of some interest to your anthropologists
What do you call your spaceship?
a. Primrose
b. Destroyer of worlds
c. E=mc2

You get the idea. So Dexter and me end up with mostly bs. And Miranda, not girly a (what Dexter thought), not know-it-all c (what I thought) .
No, she is a b. Just like me.


Jude said...

Wilf you are such a typical boy! Do you like Dr Who? I think you and my nephew would get along really well.

Wilf said...

Am I? I l really like Dr Who AND Rose. Your nephew sounds OK. When I think of a club maybe he would like to join.

Susan Abraham said...

Hi Wilf,
You have a cool friend in Miranda.
I ended up with As on your questions.
That's girly.
Also, I like the dustbin lid spaceships best of all.
Classic & universal.

UFO Watcher said...

Dear Wilf,

Don't you believe it!!!! We get visited by spaceships as good as any seen in the US. It's just that the British Government is much better than the Americans at keeping it secret ; people disappear!.
The RAF have a special team investigating aliens at RAF Rudloe Manor in Wiltshire. (
This secret facility iis located directly above the top secret government bunker and this is where the Government keep all thei alien artifacts!!!

I can't write any more as I can see an MI5 agent loitering at the otherside of the internet Cafe. I need to move on - I only use the internet at public locations so that they cannot stop me from telling everyone the truth that is being supressed.

You, Wilf, must make sure everyone knows.

UFO Watcher

I may be able to tell you more about my alien abduction when I can shake off MI5.

Wilf said...

I am not sure that Miranda is a friend just yet. We'll see. As to dustbin lids -they have their place in the universe I suppose but they are not as good as something big, grey and whirly.

Wilf said...

Hello UFO Watcher
I am very excited to see you here. You have given me an idea for my club as well.
Bunkers, alien artefacts, MI5!It sounds as though the government is out to get you, so your work must be really cool and dangerous. Me and Dexter are on the case - keep up the good work, UFO Watcher, the truth is out there.

Atyllah said...

Whaddayamean only halfway friendly?!!! Ba-kaaaaaak!
You know, Miranda's a feisty girl, but unless she's going to eat those bugs, I really don't see the point.
And finally, the answers should have been c. I know. I am, after all, as you pointed out, an alien - even if only halfway friendly.
Sigh... sniff...grumble...buk-buk-buk...

Wilf said... those bugs. No I don't see much point if she doesn't eat them either.

Moira Miller said...

Hi Wilf,

I did the alien quiz and just between you and me, I came out as a know-it-all c and so did my brothers. I'm a bit upset about this. So I pretended I was a b.

Philip came out as a b like you(but I reckon he's was pretending too). But, his little brother, Alfie, has now called his model of the Starship Enterprise 'Primrose' and thinks it's cool. I'm not sure he knows what a Primrose is though.