Sunday, July 30, 2006

Intermission - Cool Dads Don't Wear Socks with Sandals

A little break in the story to talk about something that happened today.
There is a competition in the newspaper my parents read. 'The Daily Dinosaur' is trying to find the nation's coolest Dad. In the kitchen, The Parents have left the paper open at the competition page. I glance at the rules while I have breakfast.

-draw a picture/take a photograph of your own dad (someone else's dad might be better)
-tell us in 50 words or less why you think your dad is cool

Normally I would not look at this impossible job twice BUT the prize is 'A Trip to Cape Canaverel!!!!!!!!!!!!' oh and a car.
I go to the loo and think. There is a copy of the paper in there. I trundle upstairs to my bedroom and find a paper lying against the door. Serena the cat runs past me yowling. I have to wrestle a newspaper out of her collar. I think the parents want me to enter the competition.

So I give it some thought. There is the HUGE difficulty of showing what my dad looks like because this really is going to put the judges off. He is a cross between Isambard Kingdom Brunel and the wino who lolls about on the bench near the post office. This is quite a good photo of him. It was taken as he was about to leave the house to go to a conference of dentists in Norway. Norway is very cool unlike Dad.

Uncool things about Dad
-he wears socks with sandals (cool dads never wear socks with sandals)

-he wears a vest all year round
-he carries a toothbrush in his pocket
-he argues with the TV
-he takes me to football practise (wait a mo, that's quite cool)
-he doesn't care what other people think about his shorts (also quite cool)
-he cycles to work with the spiderman helmet I bought him and THAT is cool
-he winks at me if I don't eat mum's vegetable medley - cool
-he tells cool funny jokes e.g. How did the rocket lose its job? It was fired! What do scientists use to freshen their breath? Experi-mints!

Maybe I will enter that competition.


A cool dad said...

I wear socks with sandals. What's the problem?

Wilf said...

oh dear, Cool Dad - if you have to ask ...

Susan Abraham said...

A spiderman helmet? That sounds 'environmentally' cool to me, Wilf. My guess is that your dad will bicycle his way into a win.
yours hopefully,

Atyllah said...

Eeeuuw! Socks with sandals? Vests? No, no, no! Mind you, there is this, given that many humans have awful toes, socks with sandals isn't necessarily a bad idea, it just looks vile. I blame the Germans. If you can hide the vests and socks, Wilf, I think you may, however, have a good chance of winning the competition. Alternately, hire someone else's father for the occasion. Better yet, get hold of someone who isn't a father - they're inevitably cooler than real fathers!

Wilf said...

Yeah, Susan Dad is very environmentally cool and so is mum. They recycle EVERYTHING, the advice to visitors is do not stand around too long you as you will be sorted into a recycling bin.

Wilf said...

You are so right about toes, Atyllah. And Dad's toes are really HAIRY.I really like the idea of getting someone else's dad to win for me and you know Dexter's Dad just looks the business...

Susan Abraham said...

Dear Wilf,
Re: a matter of the utmost urgency.
I don't want to end up in no bin. Not unless you have plans to recycle me into a little girl your age or less.
yours shockingly,

Jude said...

Come on Wilf, I bet you wouldn't change your dad now would you? Think about it....a really uncool dad would be one who tried to be cool when all you wanted was a dad!!

Claire Jones said...

So there I am on the tube the other day and this chap gets on the tube at Westminster.

Now it's 40 degrees plus at the moment on Ken Livingston's tube network so the attire this chap was wearing was clear a compromise between the heat on the Tube and the heat of Westminster.

His attire was a follows:

1 Panama hat
A crisp white shirt and a blue and red striped tie
A Navy Blue Blazer

Quite tedious thus far eh? Patience Wilf the best bit is to come...

Navy Shorts to the knee
Socks with Suspenders (see Eric Morecombe for reference)
Black sandals

Now anybody who has the nerve to sit on a busy tube train wearing sock suspenders is cool in my books!

Question is did he have the nerve to appear in the Palace of Westminster in them?

Did anybody out there spot him?

Wilf said...

Susan, You would not be shocked if you knew my parents; they are FANATICS about being green. You cannot move in the kitchen for big horrible bins with, 'glass' 'paper' 'plastic' 'visitors' - just kidding.

Wilf said...

I think you are really right, jude but I just wish Dad could have a little bit more Dexter-dad cool and a little less hairy-old-secondhand-T-shirt uncool. I'm just glad he does not meet me after school. I'm still entering the competition though.

Wilf said...

Some people are beyond cool. Wilf

Love your description. I am intrigued. Who was it? Must have been a conservative??? Boris Johnson springs to mind!

Claire Jones said...

Mmmmm the man in the sock suspenders could have been a Tory, could have been a Lib Dem. Sandals could be a clue here?!

Or he could have been an alien who had done some pretty poor research!

Wilf said...

At the moment I'm going with the alien! A.