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The problem was that I just happened to mention, in passing, that I was mining myself a nice new bedroom and suddenly EVERYONE wants to do it. I tried to pretend that I was only talking about a film I had seen but Dexter was not having any of it. He said, 'my Dad, Dave, is a builder and has loads of useful tools up his sleeve and I can borrow some without him knowing.' You might think this would be useful.
That Saturday, Dad is helping Mum into a coat-tent so they can go and for a hospital appointment.
'Mrs Next-door is keeping an eye on you, Wilfred,' says Dad. 'And she will be round soon, so get any ideas.'
'What sort of ideas?' I ask, casually.
Dad glares at me but before he can begin on a long and boring list of banned activities, the doorbell boings.
'Hello, Dexter,' says Mum. 'What have you got there?'
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'It's a jack-hammer,' he says out loud.
Dad's eyebrows are working overtime. 'Why do you have a jack-hammer in my hallway?' he asks. I try and give Dexter the shut up secret signal. 'Stop fidgetting, Wilfred!'
'Because I am helping Wilf dig out a new bedroom.'
Mum laughs and then after a pause Dad joins in.
'Oh, that's alright then!' She laughs some more and it is starting to get a bit disturbing, so Dad heaves her out of the door and looks back with an eyebrow glare.
'Remember! No ideas!'
When I have punched Dexter and we have eaten some biscuits, we get to work. A jack-hammer
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And it would have been fine, had Mrs Next-Door and her small dogs not turned up. It really would.
8 comments:
I can't help thinking that (jackhammer + hole in floor + Mrs Next-Door and her small dogs) x parents = trouble.
ohmigod, a jackhammer! what did mrs next door say? did the dogs hear the jack hammer? does a jack-hammer run on the mains? did you wear a helmet?
sorry. i'm a grown up. can't help asking questions.
Oh lordy, Wilf, a jack hammer! It's a fine tool, but with Mrs Next Door bearing down on you with a gazillion small yappers in tow, I'm not sure I fancy your chances. What happened!!!???!!! Did you perhaps hammer a small chihuahua? Or Mrs Next Door's toes? Can you bury any evidence in the hole you've created with Jack the Hammer?
Small dogs are the worst kind (in my opinion).
I wonder what happened when Mrs Next-door and her dogs encountered the jack-hammer. I've never seen a jack-hammer (I don't get out much) so I'm not sure what is likely to happen. Nothing good though I shouldn't think.
Fluff
Trouble is right, Dame Hon.
Mrs Next-door is not very understanding when I try to save her life.
Dexter's Dad, Dave says he is an eco-builder and so the jack-hammer is solar powered and no we did not wear any helmets, even though tunnel digging is actually quite dangerous what with monsters and everything.
You cannot help being a grown-up.
It was quite ugly, Atyllah. Not a good start to Christmas, I can tell you.
I like jack-hammers but it is nothing on the god of tools that is the adjustable wrench.
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