Sunday, July 02, 2006

It's That Time of Year


The electric lightbulb versus the hoop. Hmmm, no contest.

It's that time of year. The time of year for, 'THE SCHOOL TRIP'. I'll tell you now about the one we've already been on-to Mablethorpe-on-Sea, which isn't as much fun as it sounds.
Firstly there was no sea, not on that day anyway. Not unless you count looking at it using a pair of high-powered binoculars.
Secondly we had learning objects and these were:

-to know about different environments
-to know how to use a map (including use of a key)
-to know about EVERYTHING

And learning objects ALWAYS mean worksheets. But what was even worse was the actual place we went to - Mablethorpe Hall. This place was run by teachers as well-probably. Anyway, they kept shouting and telling us not to touch things. All the old buildings were bursting with things you weren't allowed to touch and worksheets and really helpful questions meant to make you think. After we'd escaped from the old buildings, THEN, then we had to dress up as Victorian children. I don't know why because although the Victorians were fantastic at inventing stuff, they were rubbish at childhood. Only the rich children had toys and then they had things like, the hoop. How could they have invented the electric light and the hoop at the same time? The Victorian schoolroom was the final awful thing, a school within a school, teaching stuff we'd learnt 4 million years ago. Even, my teacher, Mrs Trundle looked bored and she's practically Victorian.

I'll tell you the story of the best school trip in the world next time.

14 comments:

Susan Abraham said...

Hello Wilf,
I haven't yet read your story today. Just checking if my visits are still welcome. Unfortunately, I'm no Stephen Hawking...just your average supermarket lady.

Atyllah said...

Oh Wilf, you poor boy. Wish I could send you to Novapulse to learn - you'd have so much fun. I must say this human thing for learning but not touching is positively archaic. Besides, learning should be fun not boring.
You have my deepest sympathies.
But if you ever want to soup things up on these dull school visits, let me know, I'm sure I can come up with something that will really get your class visit going. *evil cackle*
By the way, and you can help me out with my ongoing research here - why is it called "Mablethorpe-on-Sea" if you can't see the sea?

Wilf said...

hello, Susan. Can't imagine the comments page without you now!A.
Wilf says, Stephen Hawking would be nice but I think there's nothing average about you:-)

I'll probably go on a fact-finding mission to Novapulse when I'm an astronaut, Nicky. And don't worry that trip was the worst ever-the best is yet to come...
Mablethorpe-on-sea squeezes in on a technicality really. True it is the last town before the sea begins but there's a great deal of land in front of it before you get to the beach; soggy boggy bird sanctuary land. This would be OK for me 'cos when you get to the beach you can at least dig. But the big thing is that when the tide's out you might as well be in London, the sea's so far away. Oh and the other hazard before you even reach the beach is, of course the swarms of twitchers popping up out of the ground telling you to buzz off in case you scare a yellow feathered bushtail or whatever.
Wilf

Claire Jones said...

Wilf,
Don't forget at Southend-on-Sea you can never get to the sea because it is actually by the Thames! We're a funny lot about the sea!

Hmmmmm ask your Mum about ginger wine in Southend on New Year's Day a few years ago... tee hee!

Wilf said...

Ginger wine! Sounds DISGUSTING-sounds like a health drink. I asked Mum and she said (a bit sniffily)she can't think what you mean but I say she probably can't remember. That's what Dad said as well but only when Mum had left the room.
Wilf

Susan Abraham said...

Hi again Addy,
I understand Wilf's intense dismay for this slight bit of a rollicking adventure but while condolences with regards to the 'hoop' and now sadly, the entire 'Victorian community' are in order, I must say, I enjoyed this humorous read that cradled Wilf's somewhat grumpy mood in good stead.
I admire your talent for wit and this natural flair of projecting a childlike comedy, an ability adored by many but given to so few.
love

Wilf said...

Susan, you are very kind-thankyou. It would be quite nice if a few publishers took the same view!:-)
Addy

Susan Abraham said...

Hi Addy, don't know if you've seen it yet but this url contains the updated version of the UK directory of children's publishers:

http://www.ukchildrensbooks.co.uk/pubs.html

Many are on the look-out for manuscripts eg. Meadowside Children's Books on Fleet Street:

http://meadowsidebooks.hostinguk.com/

Also, you can find children's book agents (UK) here:

http://www.writersservices.com/agent/uk/agent_uk.htm

Wilf said...

Thanks Susan, a very kind thought; we're lucky in the UK to have quite a few publishers still willing to look at new work! I know of Meadowside but I'll check out your other link-thankyou.
Addy

Anonymous said...

Dear Wilf,
Sorry to hear that you had to go to Mablethorpe. We just about managed to see the sea at Hunstanton when we went recently. Just thought I'd let you know that Granpa Jack fell off his bicycle last week, and didn't dare to go out, in case anyone saw his black eyes and thought he'd been in a fight. Love Ed.

Claire Jones said...

Wilf,
You're right your Mum probably has forgotten - let's hope the whisky-drinking bloke with the chains and tattoos has too!;-)

Keep me posted if you manage some paddling next time!

Love, Claire

Claire Jones said...

Wilf,
Talking of light bulbs - this is the coolest place to go to see inventions...

http://www.hfmgv.org/exhibits/edison/default.asp

Thomas Edison's lab... cool eh?

Love, Claire
PS But don't believe the Ford bit!

Wilf said...

Dear Ed
I think Granpa Jack made up the bit about falling off his bike.
Wilf

Wilf said...

Dear Claire
Mum says that the biker-man was quite a sweetie really and that the tatoos, chains, rather nasty scarring and slightly aggressive stance was Just his way of expressing himself.

I really loved the Edison lab!!! Thanks-I feel a link coming on...
Wilf